The challenge of not anticipating comes up almost every acting class. I find myself anticipating my partner’s entrance, the next line, or the end of the scene.
In my last scene I did, I lash out at my partner for being a judgmental prick. I immediately anticipated my next line of “Drink, please drink something”, sprinting away from my partner to go pour a glass of wine. In doing so, I missed my partner’s emotions and expressivity in how he said his line of “Please, excuse me, I have no right… I thought I’d be able to handle all of this but I can’t.” He conveyed so much sorrow and grief in his delivery that went right over my head.
My anticipation led to a decrease in sensitivity, leading me to totally miss what the moment truly was. Instead of offering him a comforting drink as a companion also trying to sooth her own woes, I ended up shoving a glass in his face like brusque bartender. I learned here that anticipation makes me a more self-centered scene partner, takes me away from the present, and results in surface level predictable acting.
Anticipation outside of acting
Since this experience, I’ve been ruminating on how anticipation shows up in other facets of my life like my career, community, healing, and beyond. Some mental ruminations I’ve noticed:
Career: How do I get that next promotion? When will I “make it” as an actor?
Community: Why don’t I already have an east bay “crew”? Why don’t I already have a best friend here?
Healing: Why can’t I get it together? Why am I such a lazy pos?
Anticipating the next thing breeds so much impatience. The lessons in acting extend to life at large: anticipation makes me super self-centered, takes me away from the beauty and goodness in the present life I’m experiencing, and doesn’t allow for a life of much depth as I’m constantly chasing the next thing.
Antidotes to anticipation
Just as acting has led me to these lessons, it has also led me to glimmers of a salve.
How do I counterbalance anticipation in acting?
In one word: presence.
I’ve realized that being present 100% of the time is literally impossible. It’s more grounding for me to think about it as a continuous cycle of preparation, presence, and restoration. It’s like when I do a bunch of planning, cleaning, and cooking (preparation), before hosting and engaging in conversation with guests (presence), and then blissfully collapsing onto the couch upon their departure (restoration). How this translates to acting:
Preparation: Having the lines memorized so that not a single doubt crosses my mind on whether I know my lines. Writing out a believable backstory to my part, so I can fully embody them and just “be” rather than have to think/analyze/make decisions on the fly.
Presence: Being fully committed to whatever I’m doing. If I am doing some sort of activity in my work like mending clothes or washing dishes, I am not doing the thing just to do it. I am doing it because there is something that really depends on it: I’m mending clothes because I believe I told my sister I’d have her favorite shirt patched up before her first date, or I’m washing dishes because I believe my in-laws have decided to unexpectedly drop by. I’m immersed in the activity and listening and responding to my partner as I’m able to, not hyper focusing on what their line is and what my next line is. Cause isn’t that how life is? You doing you, your partner doing them, and life unfolding how it may?
Restoration: Maybe jotting down a few immediate reflections on the experience to come back to in my next preparation. Calling it a night, sleeping, all the good self-maintenance stuff you need to do to function as a human and not feel like a malfunctioning robot.
Whether or not you’re an actor, I hope you can begin to connect the dots on how this cycle might apply to how you show up in your daily life. Anticipation takes me away from a mindset of engaging with what’s truly unfolding in front of me, into a mindset of trying to fit everything into how it’s “supposed to” be. This week, I encourage you to pick one aspect of your life, such as a work, love, friends, hobbies, whatever resonates with you. And ask yourself: “How does anticipation show up for me? Does it help or hinder my experience?”
Toybox
🚲 I bought a secondhand Vanmoof e-bike and it has sparked SO much joy in my life. 📚 I’m on Week 4: Integrity in The Artist’s Way. Instead of beating myself up for taking nearly 7 months to complete 4 weeks I’m grateful to be re-engaging with such motivating readings and prompts. 🎙This interview with Damien Chazelle (director of La La Land and Babylon) soothed a lot of my imposter syndrome as a filmmaker, validating the chaos I’ve experienced and how shoot days often do not go according to plan. ✒ I love my Kaweco fountain pen (with an extra fine nib) for my morning pages.
That’s it for this edition, take care until the next.
XOXO JZ
Just what I needed to hear today! Thank you, miss rockstar :)